Reasons

Hello peeps!

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It’s another month this year, approaching the 6^th month soon. A lot of things around me has changed but there’s is one thing that remains which is my job status. The updates on CB after the gruelling two-an-a-half-hour online test told me my percentage of numerical reasoning section has not fulfilled their desired percentage as the position I have applied for required a high level of numerical ability. It was not a good day for me although today I speak of it but it still hurts somehow – to want something so bad and failed. Then again I thought perhaps it is not my forte, not what I am good at or passionate for. Next is to identify my strength and weaknesses to work from then onwards.

Today is Alvin’s first day at work in his new company. If there is anyone I’d look up to, besides the point that he is my boyfriend that’ll be him. It’s never every day I get to meet people who are so clear of their directions and goals in life. It is such an inspiration to work for what he is passionate for, set a goal and charge at it. It is hard not to look at yourself and feel what on earth you are still sitting around with nothing/something that you absolutely have no feelings to. My good friends like Su Fen and Sean has found their foundation of what they want to do in life, I can’t help to feel pressured.

I know what my issue is truthfully; I took my first job very seriously (as though they are the deciding factor of my retirement). There, THAT is the problem. Working on it I am. “Don’t be so choosy” “Work first, and then find something else.” Oh... If only it could be so easy to even land a call for interview these days.

It was Labor Day yesterday; I felt I did not deserve to celebrate it at all. Such a feeling is hard to be sustained when you are the only one around without a job and still working part time like a bum. My parents has not been very pushy, they even offered various suggestions (of some saying I could find a job in my hometown to save on expenses) but I can see the concern they have because I am still unemployed although I already have taken about 5 months off. There are dark times when you feel you are absolutely no s***. This is when self-motivation is at its dire need, what I do is psycho myself into feeling super hype and motivated, envision myself into something great and start from then onwards. Trust me, easier said than done like anything else in the world.

Enough of the emotional post which I feel I have written far too many to count these days. It’s a new month and I will still continue hunting! Feeling blessed as in the midst of all series of unfortunate that happened I still have a great bunch of support and encouragement coming from the closest friends and bosses around me.

May 2012 and Convocation comes hand in hand and I believe everyone is excited for it. A lot of them have flown back to Malaysia or will fly back to attend this once in a lifetime ceremony. I can’t wait to meet up with all of them again! Considering it could be the first and last for everyone, we have suggestions of a gathering the day before and a champagne toasting session on the day itself – all in all it will be epic!

I woke up not long ago, twisted and turned in bed and this is the first thing I did in the morning. Already 10.43am and I shall get on with the rest of the work I have in hand. Toodles.

Hugs.