I need an editor and director in life.

As the long break approaching i find myself dwelling in my bed, turning and rolling, lazying but thoughts are diligently running in my head.

"What have i done for the past few years, days, event?"

Then came to a conclusion that i did not achieve a lot except for that few bags i targeted =P

Just then i also realized i lacked motivation, energy and mood. To make matters worse, my sensitive level has increased by 10 fold. Is this some kind of hormone disorder? Cuz i'm getting less patient and definitely feel like slapping more people by days.

And currently my husband is busy filming his new movie so i spent less time with him, may be part one of the reason of my anxiety and agitation.

Hubby i miss you so much!

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Okay enough with the syiok sendiri with my virtual life.

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I think, i'm a Thinker. Except i look nothing obvious like Le Penser but i am i thinker.
I think all the time, 24/7, as though something is really bothering me. Or as simple as the next move, the next speech. With all the neurotransmitter passing on it's lighting speed to my nerves and my brain cells - i'm still thinking.

And besides that, can somebody teach me to be less sensitive? Or i'm not the only one. Sometimes when certain things happened i always felt i'm more 'involve' than ever and the other party look as though it-suppose-to-be-like-this. Then you'll be thinking, what the fuck, then thinking more and more, boiling more and more, then getting pissed by yourself when the rest has already moved on.

The feelings are what you have within you - can't change as you wish? live with it? i don't know?

I want to be with you again, laugh together with you
So I’ll be waiting
for that day to come
because you’re my treasure

There has to be meaning
for these repetative days, right?
I’ll be with you again
and we’ll stay together forever more
no matter what happens
Nobody can decide for me
I’ll face my own future and walk on

It was your inconsiderate words
that caused us to
part our ways, but now
I think we’ve both become stronger

*You called my nose cute when it was completely red
meeting you, it makes me feel so happy
I have of you, many letters and photo albums
and those things, are my precious treasures

Time that’s passed didn’t seem that long
but there’s no way to measure to depth between us
The memories that simply passed
I can’t remember them this way
But time has changed nothing for you

If we could meet again
Someday, somewhere
I’d talk to you with a smile
and love you properly, and then Someday
I’d like to see a brand new me

Though you didn’t notice that I changed my hairstyle
meeting you, it makes me feel so happy
With envy, but without anger
you give me a big hug
That kindness
was all you

The songs you listened to
Your smell, your habits
The sky you used to look up to
and the road that you once walked

I want to be with you again, laugh together with you
So I’ll be waiting
for that day to come

"Someday" by Koda Kumi has one of the best lyric i've seen so far, describes what i feel whatever it is in general the best. Not only applicable to lovers, if you look at it in a different perspective, friends and family could be related.

The song "Baby Don't Cry" by Namie Amuro never failed to make me feel better to whoever or whatever that pissed me off.

And to whoever that person is, i just want to tell you - live a good life. i have more to tell you but i've figured out since you know more than me, better than me - greater even, then i'm sure you have your ways in doing what you want getting what you need achieving what you aimed.

My mood is at negatives ice-age now.